The Best New Starwars
by pointyhatsithlordesses
Summary: Darth Vader has come back and found a new apprentice named Ellie Vader.They found the Jedi forces and now Ellie will kill them all! cough cough Darth Vaders a blue bunny?The Emperor is now Grandma?What will happen? please review cause dis is our 1st story
1. Enter of the Sith

The Best New StarWars: Chapter 1 Enter of the sith

A cloaked figure entered the command deck of the Orcship and halted by a large chair near the window.  
"Lord Vader, we have located the Jedi." The figure stated in a cold voice then bowed low.  
"You have done well my young apprentice," A deep voice said echoing from behind the chair. "Now… go exterminate them."  
"Yes, my master" said the figure bowing once again, then exiting the room to board her ship.

"Okay first we jump in through the window and then-"  
"Wedgie time!"  
"Hehe this is going to be great," The two Jedi girls snickered to each other.  
"Right on the count of three go."  
"Okay, 1, 2, 3, go!" The two Jedi burst through the window and landed silently on the ground; they nodded to each other and made an upward movement with their hands.  
Yoda turned around and shook his head at the two, "Stupid you be if you thought that would work," he said raising his hands as the girls had done and giving the two a wedgie.  
"NOOOO," the girls yelled falling to the ground. Yoda smiled and looked over at the rest of the Jedi council.  
"Well that didn't work."  
"That means we have to go to training today," The two girls turned to each other and grinned.  
Footsteps brought their eyes to Obiwan who offered a hand to them both.  
The two sighed and as they grabbed his hand they handed him five credits each.  
"I told you, you can't give Yoda a wedgie." He grinned and winked.

Cerais watched the two girls walk across the marble floor. Carefully she focused her senses on to the wall, and ran into the wall.  
"Careful must you be, or special you may become." Yoda said.  
"But running into walls is the only way we Jedi can sense the dark side of the force's presence, you run into wall too many times dat is why you talk special," said Cerais.  
Yoda suddenly raised his body and slammed it into the wall.  
"Sense it we do, yes… return of the Sith it is?" asked Yoda.

The ship LittleOrc entered the planet of the Shrooms. Ellie Vader pulled out a small pocket map and peered down at it.

"Take a left past the… and land here!" Ellie said to the map, then landed as the door opened she suddenly realized that she had parked right in the middle of the council room surrounded by the remaining Jedi.  
"Who are you!" asked Obiwan scratching his head.  
"Bwahahahaha! I shall demolish all of you Jedi, for I am the Sith!" Ellie shouted at them. She soon realized that this was the wrong action as the Jedi all drew their lightsabers and charged at her.  
"Um… I will defeat you… but um… give me a moment." She said and dashed out the doors screaming.  
"New mission for you I have," Yoda said pointing at the Jedi girls, "destroy the Sith lord you must."  
"Oh umm… Yoda may I please accompany them, I don't know if their ready," Obiwan said.  
Yoda turned to Obiwan and then to the other council members who were all randomly coughing.  
"Ladies, leave you must." Yoda spoke.  
The Jedi girls shrugged and left the council room, leaning against the door to eavesdrop.  
"Go with them, you mustn't" Yoda's voice sounded.  
"But they'll fail horribly," Obiwan argued.  
"That's the point," Spoke another Council member.  
"The prophecy-" Obiwan began.  
"Prophecy or not, you mustn't go."  
Cerais pretended to nod in agreement, and cough along with the other council members.  
"Hehehe," she thought," I have a secret plan." As Obiwan and the girls began walking along, secretly she followed the five, ahem three, along.


	2. The Battles

Chapter 2 : The Battle

The two Jedi girls ran on into the Many Mushroom forest determined to find the Sith lord. Little did they know that their target was secretly following them followed by Obiwan followed by Cerais. They finally reached a clearing and the Jedi girls sat on a rock to catch their breath.  
"Prepare to die Jedi scup of coffee!" Shouted Ellie who jumped out of the bushes and fell over.  
Cough cough "You did not see me do that." She said, but the two broke out in insane laughter.  
"Yes, oh mighty Sith lord, we 'fear' you." They chanted together mockingly and took out their lightsabers.  
Ellie was ready for them, she quickly did a back flip and while in mid-air she drew out her glowing red lightsaber, landing in a battle stance.

Suddenly Elle's transmitter started beeping, "Uhh, just a second," she said to the advancing Jedi and tossed her lightsaber on the floor.  
"Oh ok" They nodded turning of their lightsabers and sitting back down."  
Ellie took out her transmitter and looked at it for a while as it continued to beep. Finally she threw it on the ground and stomped on it repeatedly until a blue figure was visible. Ellie sighed in relief "yes my Lord," she bowed.  
"Are they all dead yet, I'm getting I'm hungry." The figure barked. The two Jedi snickered looking over Ellies shoulder. Ellie glared.  
"Their not dead yet." The blue figure asked  
"Ani is that you?" one of the girls asked. They burst out laughing.  
"How dare you insult me! Ellie Vader kill them now!"  
"Not so fast," Obi-wan and Cerais yelled jumping out of the bushes.  
Then Obi-won fell on the ground laughing,

"Annikan are you a stuffed bunny" The stuffed bunny glared a vein appearing on his blue furry head, "How dare you! Ellie kill them all!"  
"Nooooo!" shouted Ellie making the bunny glare at her. "Oops wrong response… I mean yes My Master"  
"Wait! I sense a possible dark apprentice presents" Vader announced.  
Ellie lifted the bunny to scan the Jedi. It stopped at Monwon.  
"Meep? It's Obi-Won?" shouted Monwon.  
"No its you! Join with the Darkside and fulfill you're destiny, also you will finally have enough power to give Yoda a wedgie" Tempted Vader  
"NOOOOO!" Monwon and Obi-Won shouted together. Monwon fell to her knees, "So tempted," she twitched.  
"Yes Fulfill your destiny" Ellie smirked.  
"Don't do it Monwon, don't be like Ani, you'll turn ugly," Obi-Won yelled.  
"Uh umm uh," Monwon stuttered  
"That's it lets fight," Wonton yelled at Ellie  
Ellie grinned "Prepare to die Jedi?"  
" Yes," Wonton spoke simply, at Ellies confused look Wonton leaped forward her lightsaber glowing silver.  
Ellie grinned and shoved her hand foreword, throwing Wonton back into a tree.  
"Ow," Wonton growled, slowly getting up.  
"Do you like ramming into tree's Jedi? No?." Ellie thrust her hand forward again, but Wonton thrust her hand foreword as well. Both were flung backwards into trees.  
Wonton and Ellie Simontaniously drew their lightsabers and charged at each other.  
"No I don't want pizza," Darth Vader screamed, a scared little pizza deliveryman cowering in front of the transmission.  
"Huh?" Ellie asked taking her attention off the fight.  
"Hahahaha," Wonton laughed swinging her lightsaber around and chopping off Ellies arm.  
"Nooooo!" screamed Ellie falling to her knees. "How can I fight now?"  
"Monwon, kill Wonton" Demanded Vader  
"uhh wait um, Nooo! What should I do?" Monwon screamed.  
"Join the Darkside or Jedi, Darkside? Jedi? I don't know!" Monwon fell to her knees and everyone stared, "uhh one minute," she said.  
"Take your time," Ellie assured her then paused for a second "oh right arrg my arm it burns!"  
"join the Darkside" Monwon hissed in a deep voice.  
"No, Jedi" she yelled back at herself.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Cerais just for the fun of it. Suddenly she jumped up and slashed a mushroom, the odor that the mushroom put into the air was extremely deadly. Luckily all the Jedi were required to developed a tolerance to it when they were first brought to the temple. Quickly she climbed a tree and began throwing coconuts at Ellie below her (even though she wasn't in a coconut tree).  
"Take that you English pig dogs!" she yelled. "Where did that come from?" she thought to herself.  
Ellie was immune to the mushroom fumes because she grew up on that planet due to her father being Luke Skywalker the head of the temple.  
"Stupid Jedi" Ellie shouted ducking from the coconuts. She lifted he body up using the force then threw herself at Cerais. "Die" she shouted again drawing out her lightsaber with her remaining arm and swung hard at Cerais.

"Times up, now Monwon choose. Choose the Darkside and have the ultimate wedgie power, or stay on the good side and never have the power to give them." Vader tempted again.

Cerais dodged Ellie and drew out her own Laser Yellow light saber.  
"Give up Sith, you are outnumbered." Obiwan said finally, drawing out his own blue lightsaber. "Funs over Vader… urr Vaders?" Obiwan sliced in half the hologram pager resulting with Darth Vaders figure disappearing with "NOOOOOOO!"

"I can feel your hatred, give into it Monwon," Ellie yelled. Monwon looked up one of her eyes yellow, "Yess", she hissed.  
"NOOOO", the other side yelled back smacking the yellow eyed side.  
"How dare you", the Darkside of Monwon hissed again smacking her back.  
"Yess rise Darth Eske Later the Darkside needs you"  
"Listen to Ellie Vader Monwon", Eske hissed raising her arm.  
"You…cannot do this. We have the same body!" Monwon yelled also raising her hand to fight Eske back. Eske Smirked, "I have the Darkside Monwon." Eske pushed her hand closer to Monwon's, "I won't let… you do this…", Monwon mumbled passing out. The other normal looking eye closed for a moment then snapped open yellow like the other one.  
"NOOOOO MONWON!", Obiwan screamed.

"YEEEEEESSSSS!" Ellie shouted and did a victory dance "I turned her dark meep meep meep meep meep meep"

"Now, kill Wonton my new apprentice, Darth Eske Later" Darth Vader commanded through force telepathy.

"Yes my new Master" Eske hissed and drew out her own green lightsaber charging at Wonton.

Obiwan and Cerais ran at Eske to try and block. But unfortunately they were no match for the new half Sith Eske. She lifted her free hand up and both Jedi Masters flew backwards into trees.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Eske laughed insanely finally reaching Wonton. "I will kill you Wonton!"

"I know that's not you talking Monwon, come back to the good side," Wonton Begged.

"Never! Monwon is gone.." Eske pushed her hand at Wonton throwing the young Jedi back into a tree.

"I know that you still have good in you, Monwon!"

"I told you Monwon is gone, Die Jedi!" Eske moved her hand upward and began to choke Wonton.

"Eeeep… she's too evil… she's scary" thought Ellie who was sitting on the floor clutching what was left of her burnt arm. "more evil than even me.."

Wonton fell on the floor unconscious. "Now you will die.." hissed Eske then picked up the fallen Jedi by the throat and put her lightsaber by Wontons neck.

"Monwon," gasped Obiwan from the grassy floor tossing a stick at the back of Eske's head "don't do it, there is still good in you I can feel it..."

Eske dropped Wonton and her lightsaber on the ground and fell to her knees putting her head in her hands. Monwon had returned.

"Nooo! What have I done!" she screamed looking at Wonton and the other Jedi on the forests floor.

Suddenly a small ship landed and a man in a purple pizza delivery costume appeared holding the blue bunny Darth Vader.

"You have done well Eske Later.." Just as the bunny said that, Yoda appeared out of the brush.


End file.
